On Fighting Giants
On the North Antrim coast of Northern Ireland is a very beautiful and picturesque spot known locally as The Giant’s Causeway. It’s a UNESCO World Heritage site and attracts over a million tourists every year. It’s made up of mostly hexagonal shaped basalt pillars and columns that start at the cliffs and stretch out, in steppingstone-like formation, across the North Sea to The Isle of Staffa in Scotland.
Legend has it that an Irish Giant named Finn MacCool had a barney with a Scottish Giant named Benandonner who challenged Finn to a fight. Finn built the Causeway so he could meet up with Benandonner for the fight. There are two endings to this Gigantic tale. The first ending is that they meet and fight with Finn coming off as the winner and Benandonner was never heard of again. The second ending says that, upon seeing that Benandonner was bigger, Finn ran back to his cave and hid. Benandonner came looking for him so Finn’s wife, Oonagh, dressed him up as a baby and tucked him into a cradle. Benandonner, upon seeing the size of the ‘baby’, scurried back to Fingal’s Cove destroying much of the Causeway behind him.
The Spoiler Alert Truth is that the Causeway is the result of volcanic eruptions millions of years ago and the basalt cooled down quickly forming the distinctive shape of this wonderful feature. Personally, I prefer the Giant story, yet my moral of this tale is simply this: No matter what the myth a plausible answer is usually the reason behind it.
So why the tale? The title of this chapter is titled On Fighting Giants, and we all have our own personal giants to fight at some time or other, many of us constantly. By Personal Giants I mean such things as deeply ingrained, almost instinctive, habits which seem impossible to get rid of. Our inner demons, or barriers, which prevent us from doing all the things we want to do by popping up out of nowhere telling us No We Can’t because then this or that will happen, and you’ll get hurt or lose everything and blah blah blah! You know the kind of thing, right?
For example, when alcoholics kick the addiction, they still claim to be alcohol dependent and any periods of time without succumbing to the Demon Drink are known as Dry Periods. They don’t say “I’m an Ex-Alcoholic”, they say “I’ve been dry for…”. They say this because they believe they could easily revert to dependency if they had a few alcoholic drinks. I disagree with the thinking behind that. Yes, I believe they would become dependent again if they fell into temptation and started drinking again on a regular basis, however if that kind of thinking was eradicated in the first place, then perhaps that wouldn’t be the case because they would be in full control of their subconscious choices. The idea that a leopard can’t change its spots is, in my opinion, only true where leopards are concerned. Humans can, and do, change dramatically whatever the circumstances they’re faced with. Ask any Paralympian if it’s possible to conquer the impossible and I bet you can guess what answer they would give.
Recently I watched a programme which featured a 15-year-old girl who is a double amputee below the knee. She took part in a charity ramble for Children in Need, a UK children’s charity, where she wanted to complete a two-mile course through the Lake District, Cumbria, England. The course was across rough ground, including a 700-meter climb, slippery and uneven terrain and even the downhill section was very tough going as it created extreme and painful pressure on her knees and thighs.
She wore prosthetic legs so she couldn’t ‘feel’ her way like able bodied people can. The most she had walked using those legs up to this point was the ten minutes to her school. Even with the support she had around her, it took her the best part of a day to complete the course, about eight or nine hours in total.
Did she feel like giving up? Of course she did, but she didn’t. She was in pain, she had to make many stops to rest and receive some assistance from the physiotherapist and yet, not once, did she consider giving up, she was determined to complete the hike. She conquered her personal Giant. A remarkable achievement and I believe many of us, able bodied or otherwise, would probably have struggled and possibly even have given up after a few hours. She was proof that if your Why is big enough, nothing else matters.
So, what kind of Giants might we have to fight and conquer? In the previous chapters I’ve shared how the Gratitude Precepts can help you overcome and get rid of many of the nasty little habits holding you back and how to create new ones, so here I want to go into more detail and show you that, no matter how big or strong the barrier, you can smash right through it.
Is it really possible to overcome any bad habit, conquer any personal Giant, no matter how ingrained? I would say yes. I don’t care if you’ve been smoking for fifty years, you can stop, period. I don’t care if you’re a Substance Abuser, you can become and stay clean. I don’t care if you’re incredibly shy, you can change and gain a boatload of confidence. I don’t care if you’ve always been a loser, you can win and continue winning. You can beat any Personal Giant - any addiction, emotional imbalance, self-esteem issues, attitude problems or whatever – if you want to! That’s the key, which I massively stress, you must want to. That is the strongest foundation to stand on when fighting your Personal Giants, any other foundation will have the same effect as that house in the parable which was built on sand – it will collapse.
“Wanting To” is the first and probably the most difficult step because you are making a conscious decision that will dramatically change your life forever. I mean, that’s scary stuff right there! I will warn you right now that you can expect pain and anguish, you can expect wanting to give up and return to your cuddly Comfort Zone and even expect your peers to try and drag you back from your new course. Oh yes, your mates, muckers, posse, buddies, Homies – many of them won’t like what you’re attempting to do and will do all they can to stop you. Why? Why on earth would they want to stop you from improving your lot in life?
Have you ever seen what Crabs in a bucket do? You might be thinking they don’t do much, probably just mill around feeling sorry for themselves knowing they’re going to end up on someone’s plate or as a jar of sandwich paste. And you would be right in that respect, but do you know what happens when one of the crabs tries to escape the bucket prison? The others gang up on it and drag it back, even ripping off legs and claws to stop it from trying again. It’s true! It’s a well-documented fact, check it out on YouTube where you will find several videos about it on there. The thing is, we humans do the same kind of thing, not that we’ll end up in a jar of sandwich paste or have our legs ripped off – at least I sincerely hope not!
Seriously though, what I mean is this: If those in our peer groups, those who we spend the most time with, are simply existing instead of living, then watch what happens when you try to break free from that mediocre existence. They will attempt to pull you back, just like those crabs, so that you stay within their confines. So again, why? Here are three possible reasons:
1. For some it could be based on jealousy in that they don’t want you (or anyone around them) to be better than they are. They know they’re living a crap existence but are not willing to do something about it, so they hinder everyone else who tries.
2. For others it may be a control thing, they want to keep you under their control, they want to dictate how you should lead your life. This is a sure sign of insecurity. Maybe they would like to break free, smash through their own barriers, but are frightened of the unknown possible consequences, so it is better to maintain control and keep others around them in that self-same existence to help them feel more secure.
3. For most it’s a misguided sense of protective instinct, they are trying to protect you from perceived harm. This maybe comes from our dark and distant ancestral past where those straying outside of the group or tribe without support tended to end up being eaten by ferocious wild beasts or murdered by a rival tribe and the like. In modern times this means your friends are fearful for you, they don’t want to see you get hurt, disappointed and want to keep you smothered for your own good. Does that sound familiar?
For all these reasons anything outside the Comfort Zone is dangerous and needs to be avoided and the best way to do that is to stay inside, taking it easy and existing until your time is up. Sadly, many who try to escape usually succumb and return to the safety of the Herd, so to speak. Happily, others break free and so can you. The best way to get out of your Comfort Zone is to create a new one and when that gets too comfortable you create a new one and when that gets too comfortable – well, you get the picture.
Whether this kind of mentality has been inherited from our ancient ancestors where the Group or Tribe provided protection against wild beasties and so on, or whether it’s something that’s developed more recently with the advent of technology making our lives much easier and therefore we have become more complacent and even lazy, the fact is the majority of us don’t like getting out of our Comfort Zones – for there be Giants!
Fear of Failure is a big player in this kind of attitude, mainly because it’s seen as a weakness and we, roughty toughty men in particular, can’t be seen to fail – can we? Yet we’ve all done it. We’re all guilty of it at some point in our lives. In fact, I would say we do it every single day, we all fail at something. Is it really such a big deal? I mean, we’re all still here, aren’t we? For the most part failing hasn’t harmed us one iota. However, for the majority out there failing is a big deal, a humongous deal. As I said, failure is viewed as a weakness, a missing of the mark, a sin in many ways. If you fail then you’re nothing, is the attitude of many, yet quite the opposite is true.
We didn’t start life as failures, in fact we started out as being absolute winners! We all fought off thousands, maybe millions of others and survived a dangerous and treacherous journey to win the all-important race – the chance to fertilize an egg and be born. What a fantastic achievement! Whilst swimming to victory no thought was given to failing, nor was any consideration given to the consequences of a ‘What If’, We just did it, admittedly instinctively, but we still did it – we won! So, give yourselves a well-deserved and huge Pat on the back for that massive achievement.
The question now is, where did it start going all wrong? When did we start to fail and become obsessed with failing? Sadly, that’s down to our parents, grandparents, other ancestors, peers, environment and personal experiences. A right Fail Cocktail guaranteed to make you feel lower than low, sorry for yourself and bathe in the abject guilt of failure. Yet failing is not the end, it’s the beginning because, even if you were one hundred percent successful one hundred percent of the time, you would still fail. Why? That Success would cause you to fail to appreciate your success, you would take it for granted, become blasé about it. The simple fact is this: To become truly successful you must first fail.
Thomas Edison is well known to have failed many times; it took him more than ten thousand attempts to discover a material suitable to use as a filament for his electric light bulb. In the end, after trying everything he knew, it was during a walk in his garden when he had a Satori moment and came up with the idea to use bamboo. This was to be his very last attempt – and it worked!
We have many fears – the unknown, heights, spiders, water, trust, success and so on – but all these Personal Giants can be surmounted. Look at it this way, how do you view a molehill? Up close it is easily dealt with, usually with a spade or shovel, right? Further away it’s insignificant, a blip on the landscape – unless you are a gardener then it can become a mountain! Yet that ‘mountain’ is so easily dealt with, it’s nothing to worry about. That’s how we should view our issues, as molehills that are easily dealt with using the correct tools. Personal Giants can be felled like a tree in the same way – remember David and Goliath?
But what about real mountains? I hear you cry. Well, what of them? The answer on how to deal with real mountains is very easy, you climb them and stick a flag on the summit! I know, facetious, but true, nonetheless. However, climbing a real mountain takes grit, determination, endurance and stamina as well as a guide and the right equipment. The same goes for those issues that appear as mountains to you, that appear unsurmountable – ask for help, accept the guidance and then climb the buggers and stab them with a flag!
It is all a matter of perspective. Mount Everest doesn’t look so awe-inspiring or daunting until you get up close. Even then, by focusing on one step at a time, you can conquer it and enjoy the view – weather permitting. With the right attitude, grit, determination, endurance, stamina, the right tools and equipment and a good guide you will conquer any mountain that stands in your way. Or molehill for that matter, for we do tend to make mountains out of molehills, don’t we? Change your perspective, flatten it with a shovel! Focus on what’s important and relevant, not the What Ifs and Could Have Beens.
Do you still think you won’t be able to do it? Do you still think those barriers are too high, too wide, too deep to smash through? Well, take this into consideration.
The power of the Mind is phenomenal. No supercomputer ever built to date can match it for its thinking capacity. In fact, I read somewhere that the world’s largest supercomputer, I think it’s in Japan, is the equivalent to the brain of a fruit fly in comparison to the power of our minds. And by Mind I don’t mean brain for the Mind isn’t tangible, you can’t see it. Your brain isn’t your Mind, that’s just jelly and electrical impulses, a storage facility. Your Mind is what makes up You, your conscious and subconscious self, your Inner Self or Soul if you will. It’s pure energy and that is what returns, as the Bible says, to Source once our physical selves stop working. However, it’s not infallible.
Whenever you’re working on a computer, whether you are writing, calculating, photo-shopping or whatever, that is like your Conscious Thought, it’s in the now, the present. If you were to close whatever you were doing without saving it – and who hasn’t done that – all your hard work is gone (yes, I know there’s auto-save but bear with me here) and you would have to start all over again. Similarly, thoughts come and go at a rapid rate of knots within our conscious minds and, unless we focus on them, then they’re gone forever in most cases.
Going back to our document on the computer, if we did indeed save it then we would be able to retrieve it at any time at will. The same goes for any thoughts we focus on and mentally ‘save’ in our subconscious minds. However, and this is the important part, just like a computer you can fall prey to the Garbage In, Garbage Out syndrome. If you’re constantly feeding your subconscious mind with a load of crappy stuff, then I can guarantee you will be suffering from, as Zig Ziglar used to say, Stinkin’ Thinkin’ and need a serious Check Up from the Neck Up! Getting the idea?
I used to be very much an introvert and growing up I had few friends and spent more time with my head buried in a book than playing outside. Yet, even back then, put me in front of a crowd and I became a performer, an actor, an entertainer. I loved, and still do love, being on a stage and entertaining people. Back then it was Amateur Dramatics, these days it’s been Podcasting, YouTubing, Tik Toking, public speaking and so on. I do get nervous at first, but I soon flow with it.
Up until a few short years ago I could spend a whole evening in a pub and not speak with anyone except to the barperson to order another beer. That’s how shy and introverted I was, so what changed? I did! I put into practice what I’ve been sharing here and researched the best way to start conversations and conquer shyness or being introverted. I then mediated using Reiki and other exercises and gradually that practice paid off. Today this leopard has changed his spots! I find it relatively easy to start conversations with strangers, making new friends along the way. The confidence I have whilst ‘on stage’ so to speak, is now a permanent part of my ‘off stage’ life as well. Where I was incredibly shy and introverted before, now my confidence shines through and it has helped me become more approachable and empathetic to others. That certainly helps in all areas of my life!
Yes, I still have setbacks, but they are few and far between. I’ve come a long way in the last few years, and I am still growing, still learning, still moving forward. That was a huge Personal Giant I conquered, and do you know what the best about it is? It could very easily be you.
(Extract from PUNC Living by J Sadler-Scott)
