What Is Your Truth?

(Excerpt from my upcoming book PUNC Living)

 Something I’ve learned and see playing out time and time again is the adage: What you Believe is Your Truth. When you have that strong conviction that what you are doing is right and you believe it to be the One And Only True Way then nothing on this Earth, possibly even the Universe, will make you accept otherwise if you dig your heels in and refuse any other explanation. Can you relate to that?

When I became a Jehovah’s Witness in 1995 I thought I had found the Truth, and the Witnesses actually refer to their teachings as The Truth. Compared to what I had been taught about Christianity growing up, especially in Belfast, Northern Ireland, the explanations shared with me and discoveries I made for myself, just made so much sense for me that I was convinced it was indeed the Truth.

What I experienced in my childhood and youth convinced me that Christianity was broken. When you get two sides of the same coin, both with the same Belief System but approaching it through a different door, hating each other with such a passion they were prepared to literally tear each other’s throats out, I decided I wanted nothing to do with a God that apparently condoned such hateful violence. When I left to join the Army, it was years before I set foot inside any place of worship, let alone tend a service unless it was compulsory and ordered to do so.

I started looking at other Belief Systems and sadly soon discovered they were no better in many ways. Perhaps not as violent but certainly very controlling and manipulative as well as divisive. Even those who follow a Buddhistic path have at times committed atrocities. I decided to follow a more agnostic path, sceptical of any religion who claimed they were better and everyone else were wrong. I still believed in a Creator, but that was it.

Then I met Jehovah’s Witnesses and decided to explore their views which were attractive to me as they promoted a more unified and peaceful approach, a more accepting and tolerant view of other Belief Systems. I truly believed I had found what I had been searching for.

Once I had accepted that and had become a Pioneer, or fulltime preacher, nothing anyone said from any other Belief System could deter me away. My heels were well and truly dug in. I learned to accept and respect that others would have their own Truths which they would adhere to, and it wasn’t my mission to shove mine down their throats in a Fire and Brimstone manner. No, my work was to help them see an alternative and, in time, to accept that alternative as I had done should they want to.

That changed during my final couple of years as an active Witness because, like I mentioned earlier, when you look for cracks you’ll find them, and I did. I began to dislike the Patriarchal system within the organization, where women have to defer to the men in many ways and which are outdated in modern society.

Their view on homosexuality, which was highlighted by a young man who was Gay being more or less told he had to repress those desires in line with Scripture or face expulsion from the organization. He did what he could and even got married, fathered a child and then left a few years later to follow his heart, regardless of the consequences.

Cracks like that caught my attention and couldn’t, in my mind, be papered over. The final push, if you like, was when it was announced at a Congregation meeting that we shouldn’t be reading any other books other than those published by Jehovah’s Witnesses which, as someone who still read books from various genres, was the final straw for me. Shortly after that I walked away and didn’t go back, and I now look upon my time as a Witness with fondness and also with the knowing that it was a catalyst, and I was meant to go down that route as part of my Spiritual Journey.

When I look back on those fourteen years, I now understand they served their purpose and I had to fully immerse myself in their Teachings and Doctrines, because it has helped create the foundation upon which I now stand. It was the beginning of an Awakening and a Path which led to my current one and I benefitted in many different ways during those years.

For example, my initial Bible Studies and Discussions helped me to quit smoking literally overnight because I wanted to join this new family. My work with Refugees helped me to learn Compassion as well as broaden my knowledge of other Belief Systems and Cultures. I learned that to have a super time at a party didn’t require alcohol, only good music and great people. My Bible Knowledge obviously increased as during that time I studied the Bible chapter by chapter, front to back six or seven times, plus hundreds of other books and thousands of articles.

The point is, when I was that Fulltime Preacher, no amount of persuasion would have shifted my perspective that I had the Truth. I had to do that myself and that’s the same for you if you want to raise your Self-esteem or stop worrying or truly believe in yourself or overcoming Impostor Syndrome. There are no magic pills or wands or hypnotherapy sessions to do it for you, only you and your Decision, your Choice and your Determination to see it through.

Namaste,

J Sadler-Scott