What Is Your Truth?

(Excerpt from my upcoming book PUNC Living)

 Something I’ve learned and see playing out time and time again is the adage: What you Believe is Your Truth. When you have that strong conviction that what you are doing is right and you believe it to be the One And Only True Way then nothing on this Earth, possibly even the Universe, will make you accept otherwise if you dig your heels in and refuse any other explanation. Can you relate to that?

When I became a Jehovah’s Witness in 1995 I thought I had found the Truth, and the Witnesses actually refer to their teachings as The Truth. Compared to what I had been taught about Christianity growing up, especially in Belfast, Northern Ireland, the explanations shared with me and discoveries I made for myself, just made so much sense for me that I was convinced it was indeed the Truth.

What I experienced in my childhood and youth convinced me that Christianity was broken. When you get two sides of the same coin, both with the same Belief System but approaching it through a different door, hating each other with such a passion they were prepared to literally tear each other’s throats out, I decided I wanted nothing to do with a God that apparently condoned such hateful violence. When I left to join the Army, it was years before I set foot inside any place of worship, let alone tend a service unless it was compulsory and ordered to do so.

I started looking at other Belief Systems and sadly soon discovered they were no better in many ways. Perhaps not as violent but certainly very controlling and manipulative as well as divisive. Even those who follow a Buddhistic path have at times committed atrocities. I decided to follow a more agnostic path, sceptical of any religion who claimed they were better and everyone else were wrong. I still believed in a Creator, but that was it.

Then I met Jehovah’s Witnesses and decided to explore their views which were attractive to me as they promoted a more unified and peaceful approach, a more accepting and tolerant view of other Belief Systems. I truly believed I had found what I had been searching for.

Once I had accepted that and had become a Pioneer, or fulltime preacher, nothing anyone said from any other Belief System could deter me away. My heels were well and truly dug in. I learned to accept and respect that others would have their own Truths which they would adhere to, and it wasn’t my mission to shove mine down their throats in a Fire and Brimstone manner. No, my work was to help them see an alternative and, in time, to accept that alternative as I had done should they want to.

That changed during my final couple of years as an active Witness because, like I mentioned earlier, when you look for cracks you’ll find them, and I did. I began to dislike the Patriarchal system within the organization, where women have to defer to the men in many ways and which are outdated in modern society.

Their view on homosexuality, which was highlighted by a young man who was Gay being more or less told he had to repress those desires in line with Scripture or face expulsion from the organization. He did what he could and even got married, fathered a child and then left a few years later to follow his heart, regardless of the consequences.

Cracks like that caught my attention and couldn’t, in my mind, be papered over. The final push, if you like, was when it was announced at a Congregation meeting that we shouldn’t be reading any other books other than those published by Jehovah’s Witnesses which, as someone who still read books from various genres, was the final straw for me. Shortly after that I walked away and didn’t go back, and I now look upon my time as a Witness with fondness and also with the knowing that it was a catalyst, and I was meant to go down that route as part of my Spiritual Journey.

When I look back on those fourteen years, I now understand they served their purpose and I had to fully immerse myself in their Teachings and Doctrines, because it has helped create the foundation upon which I now stand. It was the beginning of an Awakening and a Path which led to my current one and I benefitted in many different ways during those years.

For example, my initial Bible Studies and Discussions helped me to quit smoking literally overnight because I wanted to join this new family. My work with Refugees helped me to learn Compassion as well as broaden my knowledge of other Belief Systems and Cultures. I learned that to have a super time at a party didn’t require alcohol, only good music and great people. My Bible Knowledge obviously increased as during that time I studied the Bible chapter by chapter, front to back six or seven times, plus hundreds of other books and thousands of articles.

The point is, when I was that Fulltime Preacher, no amount of persuasion would have shifted my perspective that I had the Truth. I had to do that myself and that’s the same for you if you want to raise your Self-esteem or stop worrying or truly believe in yourself or overcoming Impostor Syndrome. There are no magic pills or wands or hypnotherapy sessions to do it for you, only you and your Decision, your Choice and your Determination to see it through.

Namaste,

J Sadler-Scott

5 Minutes To Change Your Life

 

 

I got this Super Tip from the late Dr Wayne Dyer several years ago and have used it ever since.

If you were to choose a five minute segment out of your day, which would you consider to be the most important and potentially life changing?

Would it be that extra five minutes in the morning when you wake up, when you hit that snooze button, giving you those extra minutes to put yourself in the right mood for the day? That would get your day off to a good start but wouldn’t necessarily change your life.

What about that five minutes before you actually start work, those precious few moments where you have another quick coffee and relax a little, getting yourself into the right Mind-set to start your working day? That would keep you in the right frame of mind to do your job efficiently, well at least until the negativity kicks in – normally by mid-morning at the latest!

OK, so how those lovely five minutes when you finally get home from work and you can sit down and unwind with a glass of wine or an ice cold beer? Feels great, doesn’t it? However five minutes is probably all you will get before your phone rings and it’s your boss wanting you back in to sort some issue or other or a client calls to reschedule an important appointment or maybe it’s the babysitter calling to say they can’t come round because the birthday party they thought was next week is actually this week and tonight. And so it goes on.

When you think about it, choosing that important five minute segment can be extremely difficult. You find it hard enough choosing five minutes to get some peace and quiet never mind to decide which is most important.

Yet every single one of us do indeed have a precious five minutes which we use every day. Five minutes which we tend to use incorrectly, in a way which is detrimental to our lives and not at all uplifting. These five minutes are probably the most important in our lives because they set the tone for what comes next.

So when are these life changing five minutes? I’ll give you a clue. Have a look at these scenarios.

Scenario 1

You go to bed at your usual time and you get off to sleep pretty quickly and you sleep for your usual six, eight or however long hours and you wake up – cranky. You just don’t feel right, you feel aggressive, you get out of the wrong side of the bed, as the saying goes, nothing is going right and you end up late for work because you were caught in an unexpected traffic jam and you day goes from bad to worse. All that despite having a good night’s sleep and maybe a happy dream or two.

Scenario 2

You go to bed at your usual time and you get off to sleep pretty quickly and you sleep for your usual six, eight or however long hours and you wake up – feeling great! You jump out of bed ready to meet the day with a spring in your step. You feel happiness well up inside as you sing in the shower. You get to work early because you left home a few minutes earlier and avoided the traffic jams and your boss praises you for your attitude and you get loads done throughout the day.

Two scenarios which start the same but with opposing endings. Why is that? What reason could there be for such a difference in results?

Well let’s wind the clock back those six or eight hours to a point just before you go to sleep. For you see, the most important five minutes of your day are the five minutes before you go to sleep. Why? What’s so important about those few minutes?

What do we normally do before we drift off to sleep? What do we think about just before drifting away into Slumberland? One of two things normally: We either think of what we have to do the next day or we review what we have done today. Am I right?

Now, the thing is, what do we focus on when we’re reviewing the day’s activities or those to come? I’ll guarantee it will be all the negative stuff that’s happened or you think will happen – actually we tend to mix both together into one Neggy Nightcap!

To claim Scenario 2, why not Review the Day and instead of focusing on the He said-She said-and I'm going to do this, that, the other, focus on all the great and wonderful things that happened throughout the day. Don't have any in particular? Then make some up! Just don't focus on the Neggy Crap otherwise it's Scenario 1. Got it? 😉

My 2D Experience

 

I just want to share an experience I had back in the summer of 1991 which was kind of weird. Back then I was a serving soldier with the Corps of Royal Engineers and was based in the German city of Osnabrück, Lower Saxony. I was married with my second wife at the time and our daughter had not long been born. The previous November I had started an Amway Business, as a lot of us did back then, and had spent several months traveling after my day’s work to various parts of North Germany holding all kinds of meetings from home presentations to hotel trainings to product demonstrations and so forth. I was doing OK and loving it.

On this particular day, a Friday, it started as it usually did at five in the morning with my daughter crying out for cuddles or a nappy change or something along those lines and, as I usually got up around then to get ready to go to camp for my day’s soldiering, I usually had the honour and privilege to be the one who got up to take care of my little bundle of joy.

I was on parade for seven o’clock at the camp where I was stationed, then spent my day doing military stuff until four in the afternoon, or 1600 Hours in Military speak. Back home I played with my daughter before having a bite to eat, then donned my dark suit, white shirt and red tie, a look which was believed to indicate and emanate a sense of Trust and left in the evening around six for a two-hour drive to present a Home Meeting for a new Team Member, a fellow soldier who was based near Celle. It was a very successful meeting which ended up taking over four hours such was the interest, and I finally started my homeward drive sometime after midnight. By this time, as you can imagine, I was pretty tired and looking forward to a hopeful Lie-In on the coming morning with it being a Saturday and I wasn’t on ‘Baby Duties’. As an aside, that usually didn’t go to plan, and I wouldn’t get that Lie-In!

It was whilst driving down a long, straight, tree-lined road with my side windows open to keep me awake and listening to a Jim Rohn audio when the strangest thing occurred. All the trees on either side of the road changed from 3D to 2D! They looked just as if someone had cut them out of cardboard, painted them, tacked them to wooden stakes and stuck them in the ground facing towards me like Billboards. I shook my head and blinked my eyes however they kept reverting back to this cardboard cut-out kind of image, even moving in the breeze as I drove past. The whole experience only lasted a few minutes, by which time I had reached a junction, and the rest of my journey was uneventful. It was probably tiredness that caused it, yet it seemed so real. Maybe that’s how early lifeforms saw their surroundings before 3D vision became a thing. Just a thought!

What do you think?

Namaste,

J Sadler-Scott

 

Deep Brain Fishing

 

Deep Brain Fishing

 

Deep sea fisher folk go out in their trawlers dragging huge nets behind them with the intention of catching large amounts of cod, haddock, herring or other fish. Their nets have hole sizes specific to the kind of fish they want to catch.

Once those nets are hauled aboard the fish still need to be sorted out as there will be many species which are not wanted and others not big enough, these get chucked back into the sea. Only the best fish are processed and kept and brought to shore for sale.

We are bombarded by vast amounts of information, and thoughts relating to the info, on a conscious level and, as we can’t process it all, they need sorting out. Those that don’t make the grade are chucked back into the ‘sea’, ignored.

In that sense our brains are like the trawler folk dragging all this netted info in and need to process/ separate the best and chuck back the unwanted. Trouble is our brains can get swamped and we can become distracted easily and we end up with a boat load of rubbish. The trick is to keep an eye on the info we allow in, the related thoughts and make sure only the best get brought ashore, our subconscious, and ‘sold’.  

Namaste,

J Sadler-Scott

And The Ego Is...?

 Here's an Extract of my upcoming book "PUNC Living, How You Can Cultivate Peace, Unity, Nurturing and Cooperation and Experience Life Differently in an Awakening World." (Working Title). In the book I refer to the Ego as "Earth Guide Only" because it isn't our "worst enemy" but actually a very useful Friend.😀

And The Ego Is…

AI Generated Image via Canva

If you’ve ever watched the Peter Pan film where Peter is trying to recapture his shadow which has somehow become detached, you’ll remember he chased his shadow all the way into the Real World from “Never-Never Land” and ended up in Wendy’s bedroom. Wendy helped Peter to recapture his shadow and sewed it back on so it couldn’t escape again after which Wendy and her brothers also ended up in “Never-Never Land”.

Fortunately for us, our shadows tend to stay where they are and don’t try to escape! The point is, though, we can’t do without our shadow, can we? Wherever there is light there our shadow is also. This, I feel, was what JM Barrie, Peter Pan’s author, was trying to tell us. Where we go, our shadow-selves go also. Does that put you in mind of something else we can’t seemingly get rid of? If you said the Ego then you are spot on.

Do you remember in cartoons when someone is faced with a decision such as whether to eat chocolate or drink another beer or tell a lie and so forth, and up pops a little Angel and a little Devil on their shoulders? Remember that? You still see it from time to time, not as often as you used to. They represented our Conscious, didn’t they? The Angel would be saying something like “Don’t do it, you know how bad you’ll feel when you next weigh yourself.” The little impish Devil, on the other hand, would be saying something like “What total rubbish! It’s tastes so good it would be a shame not to have at least a little nibble. C’mom, what harm can that do? You know you want to!” The cartoon character would be agreeing with both in turn and end up completely confused so it would go on until the Angel’s advice would be taken and all would end well.

Now, I don’t know if you ever noticed, but the Angel was usually on the right shoulder and the Devil on the left. Notice anything about that? Think of Critical and Intuitive Minds, where are they said to be? If you said Left Brain, Right Brain you are correct! Now isn’t that interesting that the Angel should be on the right shoulder, or Intuitive and Creative side, whilst the Devil is over on the left where Critical Analytical or the so-called Monkey Mind resides?

OK, you might be thinking, that’s interesting but what’s your point? My point is this, when we are connected to or interacting with Spirit it’s usually via our Creative Intuitive Mind or Right Brain, right? So, if that’s the Right Brain sorted, who’s in charge of or who are we communicating with via our Right Brain? The Devil perhaps? Ah, but who or what is the Devil?

The word Satan literally means Liar, so it’s not a name. Lucifer is only used in the Latin Vulgate as far as the Bible is concerned, otherwise the term Satan is used or, as in the Greek Septuagint, Morning Star or Shining One is how it’s translated. Let’s not forget that the whole Bible was translated into Latin in the Fourth Century and stayed that way for centuries. In fact, there wasn’t even a depiction of this so-called Satan until Dante painted his Inferno in 1472 which, incidentally, gave the Catholic Church a new revenue stream in the form of being paid by worshipers to avoid Purgatory!

Our Egos are an integral part of who and what we are whilst we are here on this Earth, or University of Life as I like to call it. I mentioned in the introduction how I use EGO to mean Earth Guide Only and how that makes total sense, but that’s ok for me to say. Therefore, in this chapter I’m going to explain how it all comes together and how I reach that conclusion, starting with what the Ego is. Don’t worry, what follows isn’t some dry and dusty academic definition from a Psychoanalytic point of view, I don’t have those qualifications. I do have a healthy interest in how people tick and tock and have gleaned a few things over the past six and half plus decades, but they’re not totally relevant for what I’m about to share. Although they have helped.

My intention is to help you view your Ego in a new way, a different way from all the negative stuff surrounding it which is propagated by psychiatrists, religious teachings, inspirational speakers and even by spiritual teachers all around this world. Our Ego gets a bad Rap, exactly in the same way Eve, she of Eden fame, also gets the blame for all the ills and negative stuff in the world. That sounds like a bit of a correlation, don’t you think? Eve Bad, Ego Bad, Adam Good, Spirit Good. Stuff like that gets my little cogs a-whirring and I probe deeper, mainly through meditation and conversing with my Guides, and I get Insights.

Everything Is A Choice

 

Everything Is A Choice

In his book “Only 10s”, Mark J Silverman says:

“You are never a victim. You always have a choice.”

Now while he was referring to prioritising our lives so that we know the difference between what Needs to be done from what Should be done, the principle applies to all areas of our lives.

Every single thing we do or say is based on a choice, there are no exceptions. The question is, will we choose to become Victims or Victors? The choice is ours.

 “You and your results are the product of somebody else’s habitual thinking.”

Bob Proctor

Bob also said that our results are never as a consequence of events taking place beyond our minds but are down to events taking place inside our heads, they are an external expression of how our minds have been conditioned.

“Your behaviour is causing your results” he said, “your conditioning is coming from your behaviour.”

By accepting responsibility for our results, it helps us make the right decisions leading to the right actions to gain the right results and we are able, then, to alter the conditioning within the subconscious mind which is both genetic and environmental.

“The ability to choose is your greatest power.” - Bob Proctor

 

I’m Right and You’re Wrong

So, are you right? Am I right? Who’s right and who’s wrong? The answer is no-one is right or wrong. Now I’m sure that will be a bit of a shock for some of you, but the fact of the matter is, for anything and everything there is no right or wrong way. There is, however, always a better way, no matter what.

For example, if I were to say that my method for controlling your thoughts and achieving your goals is the right way, the right and, therefore, only way, I would be discounting all other possibilities and calling them wrong and I wouldn’t be making allowances for future discoveries. Do I have the right to do that?

If, on the other hand, I said that the method I’m offering is a better way, then I would be acknowledging all other methods and suggesting mine as an improvement. It also leaves the way open for someone else to make improvements on my method. That’s how evolution works. There is no definitive Right or Wrong way, only a Better, improved way.

You can say something is correct or incorrect, is that not the same? No, not exactly.

For example, when you learn to drive a car, every driving instructor has what they perceive to be the correct way to drive – mirror, indicate, manoeuvre, mirror or indicate, mirror, manoeuvre, mirror and so on. Every country also has regulations regulating what they consider to be the correct way to drive within their borders and the etiquette to follow. These are correct but can be updated and changed.

At one time, back in the early days of motoring, it was correct to stick your arm out to indicate that you were about to turn left or right. With the advancement of technology that has changed and all we need to do is move a lever on our steering columns – although it would appear many have forgotten how to use it!

However, the correct and only way to drive a vehicle is to keep it safely on the road in the direction you’re travelling in and use the correct etiquette for the time and country you’re driving in.

The point I’m making is this: To say something is right is to say that you ‘Have’ to do it that way. As Bob Proctor said, “you don’t have to do anything, it’s a choice.”

Wait a minute, you might say, what about breathing? You Have to breathe, don’t you? Actually no, you can choose not to. Obviously that wouldn’t be very beneficial and would cause extreme discomfort, but it would be your choice.

Everything is a choice.

On Fighting Giants

 On Fighting Giants

On the North Antrim coast of Northern Ireland is a very beautiful and picturesque spot known locally as The Giant’s Causeway. It’s a UNESCO World Heritage site and attracts over a million tourists every year. It’s made up of mostly hexagonal shaped basalt pillars and columns that start at the cliffs and stretch out, in steppingstone-like formation, across the North Sea to The Isle of Staffa in Scotland.

Legend has it that an Irish Giant named Finn MacCool had a barney with a Scottish Giant named Benandonner who challenged Finn to a fight. Finn built the Causeway so he could meet up with Benandonner for the fight. There are two endings to this Gigantic tale. The first ending is that they meet and fight with Finn coming off as the winner and Benandonner was never heard of again. The second ending says that, upon seeing that Benandonner was bigger, Finn ran back to his cave and hid. Benandonner came looking for him so Finn’s wife, Oonagh, dressed him up as a baby and tucked him into a cradle. Benandonner, upon seeing the size of the ‘baby’, scurried back to Fingal’s Cove destroying much of the Causeway behind him. 

The Spoiler Alert Truth is that the Causeway is the result of volcanic eruptions millions of years ago and the basalt cooled down quickly forming the distinctive shape of this wonderful feature. Personally, I prefer the Giant story, yet my moral of this tale is simply this: No matter what the myth a plausible answer is usually the reason behind it.

So why the tale? The title of this chapter is titled On Fighting Giants, and we all have our own personal giants to fight at some time or other, many of us constantly. By Personal Giants I mean such things as deeply ingrained, almost instinctive, habits which seem impossible to get rid of. Our inner demons, or barriers, which prevent us from doing all the things we want to do by popping up out of nowhere telling us No We Can’t because then this or that will happen, and you’ll get hurt or lose everything and blah blah blah! You know the kind of thing, right?

For example, when alcoholics kick the addiction, they still claim to be alcohol dependent and any periods of time without succumbing to the Demon Drink are known as Dry Periods. They don’t say “I’m an Ex-Alcoholic”, they say “I’ve been dry for…”. They say this because they believe they could easily revert to dependency if they had a few alcoholic drinks. I disagree with the thinking behind that. Yes, I believe they would become dependent again if they fell into temptation and started drinking again on a regular basis, however if that kind of thinking was eradicated in the first place, then perhaps that wouldn’t be the case because they would be in full control of their subconscious choices. The idea that a leopard can’t change its spots is, in my opinion, only true where leopards are concerned. Humans can, and do, change dramatically whatever the circumstances they’re faced with. Ask any Paralympian if it’s possible to conquer the impossible and I bet you can guess what answer they would give.

Recently I watched a programme which featured a 15-year-old girl who is a double amputee below the knee. She took part in a charity ramble for Children in Need, a UK children’s charity, where she wanted to complete a two-mile course through the Lake District, Cumbria, England. The course was across rough ground, including a 700-meter climb, slippery and uneven terrain and even the downhill section was very tough going as it created extreme and painful pressure on her knees and thighs. 

She wore prosthetic legs so she couldn’t ‘feel’ her way like able bodied people can. The most she had walked using those legs up to this point was the ten minutes to her school. Even with the support she had around her, it took her the best part of a day to complete the course, about eight or nine hours in total.

Did she feel like giving up? Of course she did, but she didn’t. She was in pain, she had to make many stops to rest and receive some assistance from the physiotherapist and yet, not once, did she consider giving up, she was determined to complete the hike. She conquered her personal Giant. A remarkable achievement and I believe many of us, able bodied or otherwise, would probably have struggled and possibly even have given up after a few hours. She was proof that if your Why is big enough, nothing else matters. 

So, what kind of Giants might we have to fight and conquer? In the previous chapters I’ve shared how the Gratitude Precepts can help you overcome and get rid of many of the nasty little habits holding you back and how to create new ones, so here I want to go into more detail and show you that, no matter how big or strong the barrier, you can smash right through it.

Is it really possible to overcome any bad habit, conquer any personal Giant, no matter how ingrained? I would say yes. I don’t care if you’ve been smoking for fifty years, you can stop, period. I don’t care if you’re a Substance Abuser, you can become and stay clean. I don’t care if you’re incredibly shy, you can change and gain a boatload of confidence. I don’t care if you’ve always been a loser, you can win and continue winning. You can beat any Personal Giant - any addiction, emotional imbalance, self-esteem issues, attitude problems or whatever – if you want to! That’s the key, which I massively stress, you must want to. That is the strongest foundation to stand on when fighting your Personal Giants, any other foundation will have the same effect as that house in the parable which was built on sand – it will collapse.

“Wanting To” is the first and probably the most difficult step because you are making a conscious decision that will dramatically change your life forever. I mean, that’s scary stuff right there! I will warn you right now that you can expect pain and anguish, you can expect wanting to give up and return to your cuddly Comfort Zone and even expect your peers to try and drag you back from your new course. Oh yes, your mates, muckers, posse, buddies, Homies – many of them won’t like what you’re attempting to do and will do all they can to stop you. Why? Why on earth would they want to stop you from improving your lot in life? 

Have you ever seen what Crabs in a bucket do? You might be thinking they don’t do much, probably just mill around feeling sorry for themselves knowing they’re going to end up on someone’s plate or as a jar of sandwich paste. And you would be right in that respect, but do you know what happens when one of the crabs tries to escape the bucket prison? The others gang up on it and drag it back, even ripping off legs and claws to stop it from trying again. It’s true! It’s a well-documented fact, check it out on YouTube where you will find several videos about it on there. The thing is, we humans do the same kind of thing, not that we’ll end up in a jar of sandwich paste or have our legs ripped off – at least I sincerely hope not!

Seriously though, what I mean is this: If those in our peer groups, those who we spend the most time with, are simply existing instead of living, then watch what happens when you try to break free from that mediocre existence. They will attempt to pull you back, just like those crabs, so that you stay within their confines. So again, why? Here are three possible reasons:

1. For some it could be based on jealousy in that they don’t want you (or anyone around them) to be better than they are. They know they’re living a crap existence but are not willing to do something about it, so they hinder everyone else who tries.

2. For others it may be a control thing, they want to keep you under their control, they want to dictate how you should lead your life. This is a sure sign of insecurity. Maybe they would like to break free, smash through their own barriers, but are frightened of the unknown possible consequences, so it is better to maintain control and keep others around them in that self-same existence to help them feel more secure.

3. For most it’s a misguided sense of protective instinct, they are trying to protect you from perceived harm. This maybe comes from our dark and distant ancestral past where those straying outside of the group or tribe without support tended to end up being eaten by ferocious wild beasts or murdered by a rival tribe and the like. In modern times this means your friends are fearful for you, they don’t want to see you get hurt, disappointed and want to keep you smothered for your own good. Does that sound familiar?

For all these reasons anything outside the Comfort Zone is dangerous and needs to be avoided and the best way to do that is to stay inside, taking it easy and existing until your time is up. Sadly, many who try to escape usually succumb and return to the safety of the Herd, so to speak. Happily, others break free and so can you. The best way to get out of your Comfort Zone is to create a new one and when that gets too comfortable you create a new one and when that gets too comfortable  – well, you get the picture.

Whether this kind of mentality has been inherited from our ancient ancestors where the Group or Tribe provided protection against wild beasties and so on, or whether it’s something that’s developed more recently with the advent of technology making our lives much easier and therefore we have become more complacent and even lazy, the fact is the majority of us don’t like getting out of our Comfort Zones – for there be Giants!

Fear of Failure is a big player in this kind of attitude, mainly because it’s seen as a weakness and we, roughty toughty men in particular, can’t be seen to fail – can we? Yet we’ve all done it. We’re all guilty of it at some point in our lives. In fact, I would say we do it every single day, we all fail at something. Is it really such a big deal? I mean, we’re all still here, aren’t we? For the most part failing hasn’t harmed us one iota. However, for the majority out there failing is a big deal, a humongous deal. As I said, failure is viewed as a weakness, a missing of the mark, a sin in many ways. If you fail then you’re nothing, is the attitude of many, yet quite the opposite is true.

We didn’t start life as failures, in fact we started out as being absolute winners! We all fought off thousands, maybe millions of others and survived a dangerous and treacherous journey to win the all-important race – the chance to fertilize an egg and be born. What a fantastic achievement!  Whilst swimming to victory no thought was given to failing, nor was any consideration given to the consequences of a ‘What If’, We just did it, admittedly instinctively, but we still did it – we won! So, give yourselves a well-deserved and huge Pat on the back for that massive achievement.

The question now is, where did it start going all wrong? When did we start to fail and become obsessed with failing? Sadly, that’s down to our parents, grandparents, other ancestors, peers, environment and personal experiences. A right Fail Cocktail guaranteed to make you feel lower than low, sorry for yourself and bathe in the abject guilt of failure. Yet failing is not the end, it’s the beginning because, even if you were one hundred percent successful one hundred percent of the time, you would still fail. Why? That Success would cause you to fail to appreciate your success, you would take it for granted, become blasé about it. The simple fact is this: To become truly successful you must first fail.

Thomas Edison is well known to have failed many times; it took him more than ten thousand attempts to discover a material suitable to use as a filament for his electric light bulb. In the end, after trying everything he knew, it was during a walk in his garden when he had a Satori moment and came up with the idea to use bamboo. This was to be his very last attempt – and it worked! 

We have many fears – the unknown, heights, spiders, water, trust, success and so on – but all these Personal Giants can be surmounted. Look at it this way, how do you view a molehill? Up close it is easily dealt with, usually with a spade or shovel, right? Further away it’s insignificant, a blip on the landscape – unless you are a gardener then it can become a mountain! Yet that ‘mountain’ is so easily dealt with, it’s nothing to worry about. That’s how we should view our issues, as molehills that are easily dealt with using the correct tools. Personal Giants can be felled like a tree in the same way – remember David and Goliath? 

But what about real mountains? I hear you cry. Well, what of them? The answer on how to deal with real mountains is very easy, you climb them and stick a flag on the summit! I know, facetious, but true, nonetheless. However, climbing a real mountain takes grit, determination, endurance and stamina as well as a guide and the right equipment. The same goes for those issues that appear as mountains to you, that appear unsurmountable – ask for help, accept the guidance and then climb the buggers and stab them with a flag!

It is all a matter of perspective. Mount Everest doesn’t look so awe-inspiring or daunting until you get up close. Even then, by focusing on one step at a time, you can conquer it and enjoy the view – weather permitting. With the right attitude, grit, determination, endurance, stamina, the right tools and equipment and a good guide you will conquer any mountain that stands in your way. Or molehill for that matter, for we do tend to make mountains out of molehills, don’t we? Change your perspective, flatten it with a shovel! Focus on what’s important and relevant, not the What Ifs and Could Have Beens.  

Do you still think you won’t be able to do it? Do you still think those barriers are too high, too wide, too deep to smash through? Well, take this into consideration.

The power of the Mind is phenomenal. No supercomputer ever built to date can match it for its thinking capacity. In fact, I read somewhere that the world’s largest supercomputer, I think it’s in Japan, is the equivalent to the brain of a fruit fly in comparison to the power of our minds. And by Mind I don’t mean brain for the Mind isn’t tangible, you can’t see it. Your brain isn’t your Mind, that’s just jelly and electrical impulses, a storage facility. Your Mind is what makes up You, your conscious and subconscious self, your Inner Self or Soul if you will. It’s pure energy and that is what returns, as the Bible says, to Source once our physical selves stop working. However, it’s not infallible.

Whenever you’re working on a computer, whether you are writing, calculating, photo-shopping or whatever, that is like your Conscious Thought, it’s in the now, the present. If you were to close whatever you were doing without saving it – and who hasn’t done that – all your hard work is gone (yes, I know there’s auto-save but bear with me here) and you would have to start all over again. Similarly, thoughts come and go at a rapid rate of knots within our conscious minds and, unless we focus on them, then they’re gone forever in most cases. 

 Going back to our document on the computer, if we did indeed save it then we would be able to retrieve it at any time at will. The same goes for any thoughts we focus on and mentally ‘save’ in our subconscious minds. However, and this is the important part, just like a computer you can fall prey to the Garbage In, Garbage Out syndrome. If you’re constantly feeding your subconscious mind with a load of crappy stuff, then I can guarantee you will be suffering from, as Zig Ziglar used to say, Stinkin’ Thinkin’ and need a serious Check Up from the Neck Up! Getting the idea?

I used to be very much an introvert and growing up I had few friends and spent more time with my head buried in a book than playing outside. Yet, even back then, put me in front of a crowd and I became a performer, an actor, an entertainer. I loved, and still do love, being on a stage and entertaining people. Back then it was Amateur Dramatics, these days it’s been Podcasting, YouTubing, Tik Toking, public speaking and so on. I do get nervous at first, but I soon flow with it.

Up until a few short years ago I could spend a whole evening in a pub and not speak with anyone except to the barperson to order another beer. That’s how shy and introverted I was, so what changed? I did! I put into practice what I’ve been sharing here and researched the best way to start conversations and conquer shyness or being introverted. I then mediated using Reiki and other exercises and gradually that practice paid off. Today this leopard has changed his spots! I find it relatively easy to start conversations with strangers, making new friends along the way. The confidence I have whilst ‘on stage’ so to speak, is now a permanent part of my ‘off stage’ life as well. Where I was incredibly shy and introverted before, now my confidence shines through and it has helped me become more approachable and empathetic to others. That certainly helps in all areas of my life!

Yes, I still have setbacks, but they are few and far between. I’ve come a long way in the last few years, and I am still growing, still learning, still moving forward. That was a huge Personal Giant I conquered, and do you know what the best about it is? It could very easily be you. 

(Extract from PUNC Living by J Sadler-Scott)