Getting Personal - Something You Don't Know About Me

I used to be a bit of a worrier, mainly about being liked and respected by others. When I think back on it now I can see I had some confidence and self-esteem issues however, back then, I blamed it on my circumstances. #VictimStory

For example, from my late teens onwards, I worried about how people would view me because of my lack of academic qualifications. Most of friends were from good homes and had been to good schools, were at University or in good jobs and I was a council estate boy, which led to an inferiority complex which lasted for decades.

Despite being immersed in Personal Development in all it’s shapes and forms, I was unable to shake that feeling of inferiority off and it prevented me from applying for certain jobs or taking certain courses of action which would have improved my life, especially financially, in many ways. I held back because I thought I wasn’t qualified enough, even though I knew I was up to the task or had more than enough experience to lead a project and so on.

I was in my 40’s before I really started to work on my issue and that’s when I came to the realization that I didn’t need qualifications to be the person I wanted to be or to do the work I wanted to do. I was inspired by people such as Les Brown and Randy Gage who came from nothing, had little formal schooling and yet had ‘made it’ to become highly successful and sought-after people.

These days I no longer worry as much. I still have concerns, however, I know they are of no consequence to me unless I can actually do something about them. What’s the point of me losing sleep over what some politician did or didn’t do, or how another country is treating its citizens, or if a piece of space rock may or may not enter the Earth’s atmosphere?

That doesn’t mean I don’t have opinions, because I do, and I’ll voice them too if I feel the need, but if there’s something that’s beyond my control, I know that me having numerous sleepless nights isn’t going to make one iota of a difference to it.

This also means I can watch the News without reacting, without getting all het up over some political tweet or diplomatic gaff and the likes. My worrying or reaction won’t change what’s already happened, therefore there’s no point in letting all that stuff get to me. If I don’t like what I’m watching on TV I use my remote to either put the sound on mute or change channel. Simple.

And what about my inferiority complex? Gone. I allow myself to Be Me and I find that comes across better than trying to be something I’m not.

Being #authentic, #genuine, more open, has brought more opportunities into my life than being the Actor I used to be. Yes, I still have my issues, but now I know how to handle them in a more positive way. I still want to be liked and respected, who doesn’t? Now, however, I’m no longer worried about it. Whether anyone likes me or not is their choice, and I accept and respect that.

Sometimes You Just Have to Take a Time Out

I burned out in 2014 and a lot of that had to do with the Hustle & Grind that’s so popular today. I’ve now learned to leave the chasing after Unicorns to others, that’s not my journey.

In November 2014 I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety issues. I ended up taking 2 months off work and then going back much too early thinking I could cope. However, although my then working environment played a part in the run up to that, it wasn’t the only factor. It was a culmination of years of just simply doing too much and pushing myself too hard and beating myself to bits because I wasn’t getting the results I expected.

For years I had a full-time job plus a Network Marketing Business plus a Reiki & Coaching practice plus a few other things as well. I Hustled and Grinded all my spare time – long hours creating posts, blog content, emails, dealing with leads (most of which were useless), attending several Business Networking events a week, weekend conferences, numerous webinars and workshops and training and… and… and…! My hunch is there are many of you out there who can identify with that.

I guess If I had been getting the results I wanted then the story would have been different – I’d be writing about my success and how I got them and so on. Truth is, I failed every time. No matter what I tried it ended up as a dead-end street. That just increased the frustration because I knew I was doing all the right things, making all the right noises and yet - Nada! (My Spidey Sense is saying that there’s one or two out there who have, or still are, experiencing exactly that.) So, in 2015 I basically took a step back, but not through choice.

I burned out - not massively, but enough. After returning to my former work I had another attack a couple of months later. You know those messages the Universe sends you from time to time, sometimes very subtle, other times like someone’s smacked you with a plank of wood? This was one of the latter and I didn’t go back to that environment. I found other work, not the best of jobs but it paid bills. Gave me time to get myself together.

I was still involved with my Network Marketing and Coaching, but my heart was no longer in it. The passion had gone, I was just going through the motions. In fact, I was only going to the B2B meetings for the social aspect! In time that went too as my membership ran out and I could no longer afford to renew it. So, I retreated further and by the end of 2016 I had come to pretty much a standstill – apart from some ‘Stick Poking’ and ‘Face Showing’ activities.

Bringing things up to the present, I feel I have fully recovered, truly recharged my batteries and can now see a much brighter future ahead. That has a lot to do with the way I now view things. I can now see that, back then, I was pushing myself too hard – out of desperation and need rather than providing a value driven service. Now I have a much more relaxed approach and I believe that has a lot to do with the recent Law of Attraction training I’ve been exposed to and how it’s become an integral part of how I live today.

I have a renewed passion, however it’s way less ego based than before, my perspective has changed – less Self, more Others. “How can I best be of service today?” is what I now ask rather than “Who can I sponsor into my team?” or “How many clients am I aiming for this week?” and leave all the ‘Workings Out’ to the Universe.

That’s not to say I no longer have goals, because I do, however the pressure to achieve them is no longer there. I no longer chase after them and beat myself up because I didn’t reach them. Some goals I haven’t even put a date on! I give them the Attention they deserve and Allow them to happen and guess what? I am getting results and they are the results which are ideal for me.

So, Hustle & Grind all you want if that’s your thing. If it’s working, then Cool Beans! If not, them maybe a different approach would be more ideal.

Until next time,

Jez